Today I received a dress in the mail, a white floor length gorgeous expensive dress. Now this would have been amazing, if I had ordered it, I however, ordered pants and a blouse and this white dress is what I got instead. What's ironic is that just yesterday the idea of marriage was on my mind which is so embarrassing for me to talk about, I mean I can't even think it without being afraid someone knows I'm thinking about it. So many people I know are married and I can't even say the word without feeling completely exposed and now the universe is all of a sudden sending me a white floor length dress the moment I even ponder the idea. What I need the world to know is that it's not because I want to get married, it's because I feel pressured into it by others. Marriage by peer pressure I call it. Why does it have to be embarrassing to want to manifest a relationship anyway? When your a little kid it's romantic and magical to dream about but when your an adult of a certain age you have to explain yourself for why you've been single for so long and all of a sudden want it."Ohh yes, I've had a lot of opportunities but I wasn't really interested, my journey, my journey of self was far more important, my career and creating success in my life took all my attention," anyway this is my usual prepared speech when people ask me about the subject. These are the things that make it okay. So now, I'm sitting here with my new white dress and to make it worse they sent it in an extra small. Not only do I need to get married but I have to be super skinny to do it. What's next, are they going to send me some college applications for my unborn children, maybe some baby clothes. As I relaxed, centered myself and pondered on the idea a bit more I began to look at the universes side of it, maybe the universe is super excited that I want to create something that will bring me happiness, I mean after all it's better than buying another top that'll help me to fit in with the rest of the well dressed women I compare myself too. Perhaps I'm so loved that the universe heard my quiet call and is showing up. So as I went to the store to return the the too small white dress and exchange it for my single woman pant blouse set, I stopped with my hand still on the metal door, and all of a sudden something hit me. I decided to return all of it because I realized in that moment returning it all meant making space for greater happiness no matter what form it comes in and no matter what others may or may not think.
The power
The perfection
The inner selection
The waiting, anticipating
The outer connection
How do you
When I don't
Have that affection
My life is so different
I need a correction
When you and the world has
A different election
I feel so indifferent
This outer reflection
Is weary and waining
In my subjection
I can't seem to see it
This pointless protection
I have over going in this direction
So I surrender
To my indirection
Single or married loving me becomes my delicious confection.