The photo above on the left is me a long time ago, on the right is a more recent photo. I remember getting that headshot and thinking, it wasn’t really me. I couldn’t look like that.
What was it like to wake up each day having an eating disorder I didn’t even know I had? To live in a world that only revolved around that addiction and not even know there was another way to think or live? I felt so unworthy underneath and covered up so much of myself. I didn’t know the the sensitive loving being beneath it all, the love I kept hidden and safe from being hurt. My eating disorder didn’t look like everyone else’s, I didn’t binge and purge, I didn’t starve myself for weeks. It was more subtle, more calculated and deeply unconscious. A whole level of living I couldn’t see I was stuck in till years later. I didn’t think what I had could be an addiction until I was sitting in a spiritual psychology program. It was called USM, I was listening to the facilitator Ron Hulnick share. I heard him say to someone, “the level of the addiction, is the level of the importance of that lesson in your life.” This blew my mind, could food be something of this level of importance for me to overcome? I had never even thought about it. In that moment a lot made sense. Everything was about food for me. What was I going to eat next? My only thought after I ate was, how am I going to get the weight off, would I gain weight back? While I ate it was complete worry with every bite but I would also space out while doing it. I didn’t know when to stop I didn’t know when to start, I didn’t even know what I had eaten most of the time. I was looking out from flesh I didn’t know I had the ability to change. I didn’t enjoy eating. I wondered why weight mysteriously came onto my body when I only ate “healthy” food (unknowingly) all day. I was a space out eater, food was my cigarettes. I didn’t realize I wasn’t enjoying much else either, I mean it was an entire existence where everything revolved around trying to control my body. I thought this was how everyone thought about their body and food, ashamed and embarrassed, I didn’t know any other way. I judged my body, shamed it, blamed it, covered it up, hid my weight in big baggy clothing. I desperately wanted to have a life like the “pretty” girls. I compared myself to EVERYONE. It was about control all of it, the dichotomy was I couldn’t control it ever. I unconsciously was in an illusion of distracting myself with food to numb out unresolved pain. I was like a rubber band stretching myself out then back then out then back over and over again. I would eat to reward, I would eat to punish myself, I would eat to celebrate, I would eat to “heal,” I would eat when I felt the embarrassment of not being able to fit into the clothes I wanted.
I would test myself with food, buying something I knew I shouldn’t eat, keeping it in my pocket or storing it somewhere and keeping my attention on it to see how long it would take until I would give in. It was unconscious but I did it and it was a pure distraction from my feelings and all that laid underneath in the deeper levels of what was coming forward to heal. Sometimes I would chew up food and spit it out. But I would gain weight because my body was absorbing whatever was in it. The more I worked on my disorder the more it manifested into more subtle patterns. I would let go of the weight and my deeper emotions would come up, the reason I put on the weight in the first place would surface. I was being peeled like an onion. One time after about 20 pounds came off someone I really looked up to complimented me on how I looked. I couldn’t handle the attention of one compliment from this person I put on a pedestal. I put all the weight back on within 3 weeks. What took 3 months to take off took 3 weeks to put back on. The “unconscious” parts of me knew exactly what to do to protect myself from being vulnerable. It was what I was used too for so long. I couldn’t handle the attention. It wasn’t about the food it was about the shame that laid underneath. The eating disorder seemed to shift and change (as any addiction does once you start to work on it). It started to transform once I made progress I would eat in ways I had never eaten, in parking lots of grocery stores, alone binging all the things I had refrained from eating. I started taking laxative supplements if I ate too much. Imma tell you the next day after taking these supplements I would get pain in my abdomen so deep, sharp piercing pains where I couldn’t walk straight, and I did it again and again torturing my body. I would exercise after every meal but could never keep the weight off.
Memories of my mother buying me fattening foods then telling me I would regret eating them started coming forward. Being called fat and ugly by my brother and his friends, memories of my father telling me my body would spread out if I ate too much. So many mixed messages and shame in having a body. I just kept walking and let myself really heal the pain and that was when my whole perception started to shift. It’s like a whole level of life came off. I began to forgive, I looked at things karmically, I started to see that if you forgive it will heal you. If you let out the pain and embrace it you will start to chip away who you are not. I saw everything as leading me to my freedom, my voice, and what I was creating. I used everything as a guide post to change who I was into a better person and to bring me closer to God and to heal a part of me that thought I was evil for creating it in the first place. We can heal, we can love and we can use it all to free ourselves. I did and I still do and it opened me up to my gifts in powerful ways. Yes as I chipped away at this one thing I didn’t even know was such a powerful lesson for me I began to heal deep wounds within myself, with my family, I began to relate to myself and the world differently and I started creating in ways I never had before. I began to believe I could enjoy life and I didn’t have to condemn myself for creating it but take responsibility for all of it and find how it brought me into my deeper spiritual self. That was just the beginning.
Walking through the Halo of HUMANNESS
My hands smell of rubber gloves when I get home.
It takes a few scrubs to get back to normal and even then my skin feels different from the moisture held in all day.
My face feels like it has a permanent mask on, even when I take it off.
My mind goes over all the things I’ve touched that day that so many others have placed their fingers upon.
Each object carries the blessings of a thousand finger prints, I bless them and move on.
I’ve touched money and change.
Ive been hosed down by laughter, worries and forceful uncovered coughs.
Ive sanitized and re-sanitized and sanitized again, been sprayed by the mouths of bitching people who are in their fears and worry because they don’t understand this new world. They tell me something else of course but underneath I feel their pain, resistance to the change. It used to sound like I’m upset because, now no matter what they say I hear I just want some extra love.
Now I see their love easier as it comes through just in that understanding and if it doesn’t, I run (kidding).
I never got a lot of headaches but now after a long day they’ve happened. Sometimes I listen to what my headaches have to say, sometimes nothing and with the mere act of listening to the pain, tears fall from my face.
So many people, such close encounters. I’ve touched a lot of fingertips. I’ve had things thrown towards me so people wouldn’t have to come too close.
I’ve had my own quiet outbursts of fear, run to my car as my heart rate would raise with every cough I made, clearing of the throat or breath that seemed shallow and prayed to know what to do. Do I go back in, do I rest, am I fine, what am I feeling? Has my breathing always been like this or is it different?
The answer always having been so far, slow down, take deep breaths until my heart slows down, go in again.
Sometimes I stand in front of people and my mind is going off like spark plugs and a rush comes through me like a river, ohh my God is this just too much coffee or do I have it, and I make each breath deeper than the next just to make sure. But I stand in front of each person quietly as if nothing were happening and say, hello, how are you?”
My mind is a new world of possibilities, where it used to be filled with other kinds of thoughts it is now filled with COVID related exposure fears.
The one thing that remains the same, my gratitude, love and sending light to those that enter it, but now I send harder, love faster and think of things I’m grateful for quicker.
As We Transform Into Gods
As we transform into Gods everything around us becomes an ancient psalm,
Repeating itself into a blessing over and over
Every thought turns into a decision left up to God
We don’t think but do
We place things into love, light and spirit and we sort of end up somewhere
Somewhere where we are meant to be
We begin to walk in a presence that isn’t ours as each movement becomes like an ancient story being told
Each touch turns into a journey into God
Each thought a universe of discernment to the clarity of our heart
We become ever expanding Gods
Transversing a union of ourselves and heaven
Clearing a path more holier than before
Our bodies become temples and each atom a house filled with a new lesson as we transform each cell into love
As we walk inside ourselves through the halos of an ancient Psalm.
But alas I stand there and am so human with my thoughts of men, art, life, love, and the not so reality of this human civilization.
Coming back to say how can I be here and there at the same time?
And I begin with hello.
💜💜💜💗💜💜💜
LOVE,
- LIZ
Being there for each other in invisible ways
These are flowers a customer gave me on my birthday a few days ago. Two people walked up to me towards the end of the day and were carrying a giant bouquet of flowers. They told me their grandma died last year and today was her birthday, and that they we’re having a little birthday celebration for her first birthday since she passed. I told them it was my birthday too. Suddenly as I was speaking with them I connected inward and this wave of love and adoration for these people came over me and I said, I can really feel how much she loved and adored you and it really touches my heart. The woman teared up and said, there are no mistakes I didn’t want to come here all day till this moment and now I’m standing in front of you and it’s your birthday too. They left and 10 min later came back with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and handed them to me.💗💜💗💜. . After I work, I get home shoes off at door, clothes in designated spot, epsom soak clear, mental, spiritual, physical, emotional All of these are a few ways I stay calm and clear during this strange time next too all the supplements and precautions. I don’t have time to take the best photos so this is what you get..💜💜 . Favorite comfort idea: essential oils, tune inward, ask your spiritual self to connect to a scent that will bring you into greater alignment, put in spray bottle with water, spray around you with love💗 . Someone called in flipping out about Corona Virus the other day. This fear washed through me during and after the call and I couldn’t stay present. Then a question popped into my mind, is this fear mine or did I take it on for someone else? In this current climate where everything is changing moment to moment it seems like theres an opportunity to expand into our greater spiritual nature in every moment too. As we become more sensitive to ourselves and others we can be there for each other in ways that we cannot always see. We can take things on and hold for complete strangers and for energies on the planet wherever we are. One way I deal is breathing deeply and being grateful for every breath no matter what I’m doing in that moment. Then I can follow my breath into greater love and expand instead of retract. Its important to remember that it’s okay to love ourselves right now and why not as we don’t know what each moment will carry. If I take the time to love me I can in return be of greater service to others. . So I take my supplements, smile, breathe, tune inward sip on my juices, stand in my strength expand into love and do it all over again. . .
Love, -Liz
Crystals!!!
Because im here and thIs is where i am.
I thought I would continue with my, Out in the world of COVID sharing so here it is:
The air is thick with the shifting of world consciousness in such a deep and unique way and being in that as a sensitive empathic being is both enriching and unknown territory and yes it effects me, I get scared, I just don't have time to feed into the fear as I need to be present with people so I make it okay really quick. A few have shared with me of loved ones in the world that have COVID and many have spoken to me about the shock of such a quick shift which you can feel in everyone, like a collected space out but as I help people I often think maybe that was there before and we are all just awakening to it within ourselves and learning how to listen to ourselves and in return to each other in deeper ways. The amazing thing is people are still laughing, some spill out there fears and some are in quiet fear and trepidation. My process around it seems to be a lot about existing and knowing I exist which has always been a lesson of mine personally.
Seashells!!!!
Top item bought after a GOV lockdown; CHOCOLATE!!! So if you've found yourself buying 25 bars and eating five the next day DON'T WORRY, it's a normal side effect apparently. All natural HU bars were the top choice! (this is not an ad) they are delicious.
Top replacement of the hand shake: the air elbow.
Top idea: buy a fishing rod and fly to the Bahamas for $19.00.
Favorite comfort drink: Echinacea tea, raw local honey a few drops of liquid turmeric and vitamin d.
The most dismal view of the world award goes too; dun dun dun. The economic strategist (or so she said) buying celery root powder. When I asked how she was, she replied, ohh you know I'm fine it's just an economic shutdown followed by a recession followed by the next depression. My response, well at least there's celery root right?!
Best Outfit: Face mask, latex gloves and some good ole' California flip flops.... Apparently they haven't invented the latex foot glove yet.
Healthiest person award: A man around 65ish who felt like the healthiest person ever, he was beaming. I mentioned how healthy he looked to him and asked his secret. He replied I take and do the things that feel good to my body. I do what works for me and I’m not worried about Covid if I get it I get it so radiating health is a state of mind.
Someone came up to me and asked me my opinion on it and I said well, it's like the universe said, now everyone go home and think about what you've done and learn to communicate! except for me, I'm here.
Then they asked how I keep smiling and all that came out was, because I'm here and this is where I am.
with love and light,
-Liz
Flowers!!!
Raising Your Vibration During This time
Hi everyone,
So I have been working manning the holistic, and nutritional section of a big corporation for a bit now as I am building my own art and intuitive coaching practice. I am in the general public during this time as the things we are selling are considered a necessity. Im writing to share the gratitude I have for the lessons and experience during this pandemic because as everyone is running around buying things in this unsure state the world is in I am standing in the eye of the storm well a part of it and have learned more in the past few days about human behavior and human connected ideals then I ever would. Also with an added bonus of knowing every possible supplement for immunity than I ever could. Everyday there’s a new supplement fad. Did you know that there is a process called sonification that involves extracting a nutrient from its source by sound. Imagine how music extracts the love from us. Ive watched as everyone is running around ripping everything off the shelves and on a serious man hunt for hand sanitizer and I’m here for it, holding the light and love.
The top requests are hand sanitizer, hand wipes, elderberry syrup, Zinc, not even Vitamin C and everything in between. Then it’s alcohol and essential oil to make your own sanitizer, aloe vera gel, if you don’t have that then it’s douse your hands in Vodka?!!! Interestingly enough none of those things are what they suggest to people on the front lines, they mainly tell us to wash our hands for 20 sec and to not touch your face, yet soap is left on the shelf. The funny thing is all these people working in the public have to be the most grounded. Can you imagine if the CDC suggested them to stock up on toilet paper and Vodka if there’s no hand sanitizer, we’d all be in chaos. People that work in service positions in public during this time have to be open, anchored and more grounded in their thought process more than the public than they are serving, we can’t judge them but also if we fed into the fear they would not be able to do our job which is neutrally serving them in a crises at this point making us more at risk than others. I don’t mind being in the public right now because I feel in service. Actually I get to hold for everyone and that is a privilege. I’ve held the light for so many people and washed my hands after so many times 😉. Yes I’m careful and I see the blessing in this experience, in knowing what it feels like to be in complete neutrality and service to all those around me. I have had more conversations with strangers telling me about their experience of God than ever. It has taught me no matter where you are standing how big or small the job it can be your greatest call because it’s where you are regardless of a pandemic or not.
EVERYWHERE YOU ARE, YOU ARE MEANT TO BE.
Anyway I just thought I’d share as I talk to people, some scared, some just going with the flow, some theorizing conspiracies. There’s one main conspiracy with different offsets going around, it’s about how chem trails are somehow related to this illness and how it is all being done because of the up and coming election but I listen with my heart.
One person came in so scared after they announced the lockdown news, I looked her in the eye and said just observe the fear but don’t be in it. She stopped looked me in the eye and deeply thanked me as she had no one to tell her those types of things.
I am in no way brushing off the suffering and pain this disease has caused some however, I am seeing the blessing in it for me as someone who is in the public during it and the power of looking at everything from being of service and I don’t know if there’s a more powerful feeling.
Loving you all around the world if you want please let me know what your doing to raise your vibration and love yourself through this and what your doing to extract the love out of you!!❤️
Seeing Life Through Spiritual Eyes, digital photography
seeing liFe through spiritual eyes
During this strange time on the planet with threats of war and fighting and all kinds of intense and painful situations going on, I find what makes it even stranger is that we are so connected via social media with everyone around the world, loved ones and peers are in our face all the time. It’s very intense for me to accept the idea we fight with these places or neighboring places that we are so close to the people in nowadays.
So in this moment as I reflect and send light to those parts of myself that aren’t at peace I’m reminded of a recent experience with some of my friends across the world, two little creative sweet souls and clients from Kuwait. I met up with them last time they were in LA. Over tea we shared about art spirituality and dating😊. The next time we met I noticed one wasn’t wearing her hijab 🧕. I asked her about it and she said it was one of the first times she had taken it off in public. She shared the deep spiritual nature of wearing one for her, how her family was progressive and accepting of her expressing herself and all of a sudden I got it, wearing it was like an extension of her and taking it off was was like taking a part of your skin exposing something deep and very vulnerable underneath. That’s how I related with it anyway. In that moment I became so grateful to be able to experience this with her, a moment of freedom, experimentation and courage in a way that was something so new and different than I’d ever seen. I could appreciate in such a deep way the visceral feeling of being completely exposed and the courage to do it. This is how it reflected inside of me, like I got to experience it with her and even though it felt maybe small to her I got too watch the unveiling of another souls expression in front of me reflecting to me a part of myself doing the same thing. It’s these moments of connection with something so unique that bring us together and into the oneness and knowing of ourselves in powerful ways.
In what ways have you exposed a new part of yourself you weren’t sure about showing but tried it anyway?
Seeing things through spiritual eyes makes everything look more magical, gives everything new meaning. Everything becomes multi-dimensional and the deeper spiritual energy of every experience, person and place comes through. This world becomes a deeply mystical place as you come into the awareness it’s all a reflection of you in your awakening into the beauty of yourself.
Letter #4, The Healing Of Memories
"Letters Home" Letter # 4, The Healing of Memories
OMG I did not want to share this next one, I kept avoiding it as so many shifts have happened from the inside out. My whole view of what home means to me has kind of transmuted into the fact that it had nothing to do with the home I grew up in but the image I had of my house and the people that was reflected back to me and it wasn't always pretty. I've been looking at places within me that have not been easy to look at and it has caused me to see some of my addictive behaviors and start to see the depth and power of what taking responsibility for oneself really means and it is transformational. As I've done that and looked at the moments where I felt like I failed, I've found there was always a moment of pain as I took responsibility for it no matter how hurtful I thought anyone else involved in it was and it began to shift everything. Then I found this great quote as I was listening to a seminar.
"That transitory dismay that you go through when you admit the truth of something to yourself is the temporary passing discomfort that you can see how selfish you are in a relationship, you can see how self-interested you are, you can see how indifferent you are, you can see how unloving you are in some areas so it becomes somewhat painful, the pathway of inner searching can become painful.
There are saints that say how they went from elated states to states of despair, ohh my beloved how could you have deserted me. States of great anguish see, and don’t worry about the states of great anguish, just surrender the anguish itself to God and constantly surrender all of it, don’t resist the anguish if it should come up because if your serious it will very likely come up again."
- The Ultimate David Hawkins Library, audio segment.
More about my coaching
Here's a testimonial from a recent client.
"One of the key things I’ve taken from working with Liz is my involvement in ego, control, manipulation and taking responsibility of any and all of it within me and letting that go. She helped me gain my strength, confidence and power in myself and see from a higher perspective. She completely understood my language and how to speak to me, no matter how abstract, I felt completely safe and held."
- MK, Austin Texas
Letter # 4, The Healing of Memories
8" X 10" String and Acrylic on Canvas.
Dear Home,
As I lift into greater attunement
Everything seems messier like my room when I was a teenager
My mom would come in and ask me to clean it but there was something painful in the exchange that made me freeze
And wonder why I hadn't in the first place
I wondered what the point was
So what is the point of having a clean room
And who's fault is it anyway that it's messy
Was it because you didn't teach me how to clean it
Or did I create the situation before I came into this world
And this moment is my awareness of myself becoming aware of myself in something I created perfectly?
Or was I aware then?
Am I aware now?
My point is, it's still not clean in my consciousness and I'm still confused at your part in that
So I pull in Spirit and say be with me as I clean my room inside myself
Help me heal
And Spirit comes into my room as it was then and holds me and tells me
I'm beautiful anyway
And at first I don't know what it's talking about
But then I surrender and begin to see
And there's a flash of deep embarrassment so intense
And chaos gives birth to love
And everything in that memory dissolves and my life around me shifts now
And I realize then and now is one
And I use my memories to bring me closer to my dreams.
I love you,
-Liz
Letter #3, Acceptance
"Letters Home" Letter # 3, Acceptance
WOW this one took me a long time to complete. I was feeling a lot of resistance to putting it out and nothing I had to say felt quite right. I felt completely insecure about the art itself but I embraced that feeling and kept going.
During this time I had a dream
In it two of my friends turned to me and said,
Celebrate the pain. Throw a party for it!
I started to imagine what a party would be like where everyone came as their deepest pain and struggle, boredom, anger, sadness and unworthiness would all be there. Just imagine them dancing together, it created a pretty funny image and it helped me to be patient with my own process.
So I welcome you to email me, message me, share your experience or pain with me, how it shows up, what it looks like.
Maybe we can find a way to bow down and thank it for the blessings it could be bringing you.
More about my coaching
Letter # 3,
10” X 8”, mixed media on canvas.
Dear Home,
In my house every memory is me
Every room is a piece of my body
In my house every dog has a memory
of me
If I could look at my house through the eyes of everyone else
they would all be you
Bear would have endless love and appreciation
Honey would sit peacefully
Dad would not understand how to communicate with me
Mom would be blinded a lot by her own struggles
The couch would look away
The birds would curiously look through the windows
The window panes would beckon me to climb through them
Every crack in the wall would be gossiping to itself about the people it's seen
Every mirror would wait to reflect back ones insecurities
and tell them sly little things
The backyard would be a casting ground for play
And the sun would send messages through it's heat
And I would know I was only love
And this universe around me was made up of just one big question
Can you accept and love it all?
And I scream through my resistance Yes
And it's gone
One moment
One question
Swept away
An entire lifetime,
The power of acceptance.
I love you
-Liz
Letters Home, Letter #2
Continuing my "Letters Home" series. I find the healing taking place inside is palpable, intimate, loving and gentle. Creating through intention while making art, doing Spiritual coaching and putting out what I do doesn't always feel easy.
But it's really about creating something that's unique to my heart.
I think we all have something like that
which is really our energy beyond who we think we might be.
Our process of unfoldment into the understanding of our greater selves can be the best part.
Also please reach out to me if you'd like to schedule a complimentary clarity session.
There are ways to process through anything you may be going through while using it all to lift into greater freedom. I would love to support you in opening to the unique opportunities of your Soul.
More about my coaching
Letter # 2,
10" X 8" mixed media on canvas.
To purchase click link here, Purchase painting
Dear Home,
As I remember you again
You become real
Whisk away the karma that is left
A non Spiritual life I left behind
But ohhh so real
A teenager with burgundy hair
A hair net, a zig zag skirt
I hated my legs
This one is not as good as the others
Standing in the grass I felt so large
The blades were so tall
Who is that?
Everyone thought I was rich
But you always spoke of how you never had money
My shame
You think I have money
Well I don't
I have shame
That's my currency
How much shame will it cost me to buy a house
Or a car?
How much shame dollars do I have to pay?
Then I met someone and their currency was love
But I had shame and we needed a currency exchange place quick
And the exchange rate was high
100% was the only rate you'd give me on the shame
And in return you'd hand me over all your love
And you took my hand in yours and it carried in it the story of a good life where everything was okay
And I realized the stories I made up against myself
Because I thought I wasn’t worthy of love
But there wasn't an exhange place that would take that currency anymore
And so I thought
Lets walk a little further
Until we get home
And what is home anyway
Perhaps it's that place we thought we left when we got here.
I love you,
-Liz
Letters Home
Hi Everyone,
This is a series called, "Letters Home." For a little while I will put up a painting and a letter to my old home/old life with the intention of healing within myself any grief or underlying sadness as I watch my family get older go through various near death illness's and become more frail knowing as time goes by the things I used to identify them with will become no more. The intention is also to watch and ride the waves of sadness and use them as a guide that lifts me into greater freedom, intuitive knowing and acceptance of myself, knowing and trusting it is all a part of my perfect path laid out for me. The healing that has come forward already has been profound in just the doing of it.
Each painting is for sale, the suggested price of the first one is $180.00 Each will come with a letter home. If you feel as though the painting is yours let me know.
This first one is mixed media, made of paint, thread and one of the cello pieces I learned growing up, Concerto in C Minor for cello by J.C. Bach. it is 10" X 8" mixed media on canvas.
Letter #1
Dear Home,
I’ve had so many jobs and so many painful life experiences
Sometimes I wish I could just come home
But there’s no more home it’s gone
I remember practicing cello with dad in the living room
Him analyzing and criticizing my practicing
And it was difficult but now I see he was just excited
I miss the fig trees and playing on them, the way they smelled
Their textures, stepping on the sticky ones that had fallen to the ground
Their goo all over our shoes
A miniature orchard
I will miss playing in the trees
Eleven of them at first
Green and purple figs
Such a rare fruit to have
Then some stopped making fruit
The trees got sick
And we uprooted a few
Less to play on
But I know now all the lessons
And every person
Every tree
Was all just an energy in Gods heart
And dad is just a player in my soul
An energy field that I choose to help me see the loving in myself.
And as I grieve I also set intentions to heal that past life.
I love you,
-Liz
Also if you feel called please schedule a complimentary clarity session with me.
There are ways to process through anything you may be going through that are unique to your soul and can help you lift into greater freedom and I would love to support you in opening up to them.
Angelic Reflections
Is there an angelic infusion taking place inside of us?
Can we be the angels to everyone we see and see the angel in everyone we meet?
I didn’t grow up with this viewpoint. I never grew up thinking about angels. Fairy’s yes, they were okay but Angels....Angels were something not to be spoken of. Angels were hokey and too religious so I avoided any talk of angels at all costs. Then one day, someone pointed out to me that I had an angelic presence.
Wait what? me? But in that moment it was one of the most beautiful and profound things anyone had ever told me because I saw the truth in it.
All those years of brushing off Angels as some heavenly hoax made me question the way I viewed things. Were the angels from my past a reflection of the way I viewed myself until then, a hoax? Seems like it, my views of myself had not been too good up until then maybe those views were the true hoax. Can one moment of love and praise change our minds and our hearts? For me it did, I’ve been lucky enough to see both sides, and how one moment of love can over power what sometimes can feel like a lifetime of the opposite.
This is a photo shoot I did with the effervescent and angelic Patricia. As we brought the light to downtown LA and set our intentions we let go and started creating. The harsh broken rocks and walls, pillars and metal against a soft angelic silhouette really expressed for me the feeling of what it is like for the light to pour in to areas that need it the most. This takes place not just outside of us but experientially it happens within us too. As we experience this energy in more powerful ways it pulls us into seeing who we truly are and in return reflects to us the qualities we couldn't see that are beyond this world. Then we can embrace those parts of us as they are reflected back in our creations and break past the barriers of who we thought we were and what we thought we wanted.
with love and light,
-Liz
( If your interested in buying any photographs or having a Photo shoot done feel free to contact me or just respond to this email. )
Tapping Into A Greater Presence With Art
“I received Liz’s art in perfect sequence as I lifted into greater atunement with myself. It was in the perfect timing and it was as though the painting was made for me, a perfect reflection of my spiritual path and somehow deeply connected to it all. She has a truly healing presence and I experience those qualities deepen in me every time I look at my painting.”
-Maria Whinter, Singer, SwedenNew art for sale
"Angels and Anchors" 2018, 4' X 3' Mixed media on canvas.
(This piece is for sale, for inquiries and price please contact me or reply to this email.)
A client of mine stood in front of this painting and as they looked at it said that they started to feel a sensation through their spine and pointed to the place in the painting where she felt it resonating in her body. She described it as a healing energy traveling through her shoulder down her spine. I wasn't expecting her to say that.
As I'm making the art in whatever form I'm creating, I going through my own inner process and I don't think about that kind of thing usually but a part of me always feels healed myself afterward, clearer, happier and freer. And when I look back sometimes I wonder how I actually made something like that as if something else was working through me while doing it.
“Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.” ~ Pablo Picasso
“Art is a wound turned into light.”
~ Georges Braque
With Love,
-Liz
Below are prints of two paintings they are on sale for $100.00 each.
1) 11 X14" Love Made Manifest
2) 8X10" J-R Transcending"
(The original paintings are available too)
Surrendering To The Divine
Sometimes the situations that are the least pleasant show us who we aren't and what shines through is the truth of who we are.
My trip was so transformational, I broke open in ways I wasn't expecting, I went to some of the most historically prolific places in the world, some of the most holiest places on earth. I took transformational workshops and expanded into greater love in such powerful way.
Then I got back and my whole life fell apart along over the place. I felt like I was being turned inside out and my guts were on display for everyone to see. Within 3 days, I found out I had to move, There was fraud on my account and it was emptied, some of my friendships seemed over. It felt like the twilight zone, it was unbearable and yet at the same time the shift felt Spiritual because I had a greater knowing of my self worth and the truth of who I am. I mean after all I prayed for change maybe this was it even though it did not look that way.
So here I am my ego my thoughts my views of what life could be changing drastically again fit and prove that I am so worthy of my dreams, and as I work on actually believing that in every moment here is a poem that helped me get through it and some sketches from my 9X11” sketchbook I made during my travels
with love and gratitude,
“My Ego Dying In Your Arms”
by Liz Bagish
I thought this life was mine
My thinking was so blind
As you were doing it all the time
To help me surrender into the divine
My thoughts my will my prayers
I thought that you weren’t there
My ego couldn’t share
So you had to strip my life completely bare
When everything that’s left
Is only in your breath
You breathe a little more
And wait to see what’s there when you open that new door
It wasn’t what you thought
The lord was bringing what it brought
The shift that set sail
As my big ego took its last exhale
That shift that ohh so burns
Is my ego dying in your arms
And although it happened quick
I know my gentle heart will fly freer with each tick.
Travel Sketchbook.
Copehhagen
Walking through the Wieliczka Salt Mine
On the way to Auschwitz
Somewhere over Greenland
The Beach Geneva
On the way to Israel
Israel, Farm in
Mount Tabor
Stockholm, Sweden
London, England
Back To The Salt
So traveling around has been one of the most magnificent and wonderful times of my life. I have not in a long time been so happy and excited to be in new places and experience the magic of each place. Just to be vulnerable here this trip is the first thing in a long time to work out in my life. I’m so embarrassed sharing that but it’s the truth. I have not in a long time tried to manifest something in my life that actually worked out in such a glorious way and it was all just from a grain of a thought and dream and although maybe I didn’t get it exactly the way I wanted I got something even better. The ability to surrender in even greater ways to what is. Even now within myself I feel myself fighting that thought saying my head thinking but how can that be better??!! Maybe I’m still learning to love that part of me and I’m going to make that okay. I’ve loved traveling so much and I feel so inspired by so much love and support from the universe to keep going!!!!! I would like to stay longer in Europe. So I will continue to sell my art and prints and share along the way what I’ve made in order to manifest and create my dreams in an even bigger way. Everything is still for sale as I learn to keep going, keep growing and share myself in greater and greater ways. So here’s some of my writing and photography I’ve put together from this trip.
These are some photos I took on my travels. This particular list is all a set of images taken at The Dead Sea. The abstract image is of the moon. To me these represent a time in my life where I am going back to the salt. In my abstract way of thinking to me that means re-inventing who I am, re-building and deconstructing all the things I thought I was once again. And as those things go back to the salt they are cleansed and cleared and I become created anew. Where I used to reject myself where I used to banish myself I learn that there is no myself but a moment in time being recreated with every thought and the power of keeping those thoughts positive. All my thoughts become the salt and all thoughts are born if it. It becomes a sacred alchemy of healing and love and light that works through me but is not of me. It becomes me washing away my old self and making room for Spirit to do the work. I just become a chanel of love and light and the salt is the inspiration etc.. etc... and so on and so forth.
I would love love to hear from you, THANK YOU ALL and take care!!!!
lots of love,
-Liz
Genealogical Healing at Auschwitz
Video at bottom (click on suitcase photo) … All photos by me.
As we drove the van up to Auschwitz I was surprised at how beautiful it was. Gorgeous large plush green trees lined the small highway we were on and I couldn’t imagine a drive so beautiful leading to such a horrific fate, not to mention the intensity of someone making people believe they might be going somewhere beautiful. The bus driver put on a forty five minute video showing us the deep torture that these Jews went through a video that was not apologetic in sharing photos of twisted mangled sick people that had been left to their fate in this place. As I tried to keep my eyes on the road we finally arrived. It seemed so beautiful like small army barracks built for commanders and captains of army’s not prisoners. I couldn’t believe at first they enslaved them there as it seemed so beautiful and so small too. As I walked around and into the brick buildings lined with those same beautiful tall trees we drove by on the way there I found myself staring into torture rooms. Everyroom seemed to signify a different type of torture. As the tour guide told us the idea of a Concentration camp was to have the prisoners concentrate on dying in a multitude of ways which I never knew exactly the meaning until then.
Just a few days ago I had been sitting on my bed underneath my own tree outside my window wondering where I was going to go as my whole trip and life had seemed to be falling apart. I decided to wait for an answer purely from inside and from Spirit on what to do. In my meditation the answer came and was this; go to Poland where my father had recently told me a lot of his Jewish ancestors died and set intentions to clear and heal any genealogical patterns that were instilled in my gene pool around the beliefs my ancestral lineage had acquired by experiencing this event. So to explain what these beliefs would look like, they are invisible ideas about life someone instills within them self when going through a challenging event. Those beliefs create a ripple in the gene pool for all that come from that lineage to believe the same thing unknowingly about themselves too. Some made up example ideas would be, I just saw someone die God doesn’t exist or someone just took away all my belongings I will never be able to keep anything or life is too scary to live etc...
Hard to believe I had asked myself that question about what beliefs may have been instilled in my ancestral lineage just a few months prior not having any idea I would actually be going here.
I didn’t tell many people at first what I was doing as I thought they would not understand how this could be a part of my dream trip and I judged it as dark, but all I wanted to do was heal my beliefs around abundance and lack and self worth, the things that seemed to be instilled in me since I was little and also honor those ancestors that died in some way.
As I walked around Auschwitz the awareness that came was that perhaps my ancestors were the ones pulling me there in the first place and in that moment I was the one that felt honored.
A lot of thoughts ran through my head as I walked through this place mainly the idea of sacrifice, lessons of the planet earth and the lessons of particular populations as a whole and what the higher more spiritual lesson was in all of this and what I could learn from it as I walk through this life.
I didn’t have much time as the tour was fast. I brought my art supplies ran into an open field just outside of the camp and recorded myself doing a genealogical healing prayer and painting as a modes to heal in a deeper way those painful beliefs left over in my gene pool.
I can say all of Poland was an incredible experience and there is more to share but I wanted to share this video first and the profound blessing it has brought me to have been able not only follow my intuition completely but follow Spirit in such a profound way to be able to do this. More to come. Here is the Video…..
Help Support Me in Living My Dreams Blog Post 2 (update)
Hi Everyone,
So I wanted to send a follow up with what I’ve created so far and what I'm going through in manifesting this dream of going to Europe in September. If you do not know what this is, please refer to the first blog post below.
So far a lot of you have bought my art, some have donated and I've received a lot of words of encouragement and love.
I have received about $750.00 of the $5000.00 I asked for so far for my dream to go to Europe and Rome in September. As I looked at the balance the other night and realized it was already getting into August and how fast time was flying by I broke down and things got messy. I went into my doubt, fears, tears, upset and ego and completely gave up for a moment. I thought what is it I really want out of this and shouldn’t I be doing something greater for humanity?
So as I began to give up, I sat down with a quesadilla and giant piece of pumpkin pie thinking it would soothe me and instead I started day dreaming and comparing myself to all the others that are living their dreams all the others that get it "sooo easily.” Then I thought, no!!! I’m not going there, I AM WORTHY. Then I thought I have to share this experience and be honest in my process even though I may not know why yet because that is a service in itself. The thing is I’m learning to trust Spirit and myself more and more and not give up. In this I can believe and use everything to lift myself and heal myself no matter what is going on around me and in the process be of service to others by sharing my experience.
I know this experience will and already has given me the gift of strengthening my believing in myself just by the mere fact I I’m keeping going. I also know I am healing something within me by pursuing this and cannot wait to let you know what manifests.
So I’m not giving up yet. I’m going to keep believing and trusting that something so beautiful is being created.
I'm in so much gratitude for all your support as one believing and living their dreams is all of us as one believing.
Some of what I’ve also been creating is a website so I thought I would share with you that as it’s in its production process.
http://transcendentcreations.squarespace.com/bio-and-coaching-1/
Here is the menu again for buying art, donating.
Selling Art
Spiritual coaching
Writing
Photography and portraits
If you feel called you can also just donate via these links.
or
Also Please enjoy the video below of actual footage of me going for my dreams and the process of that.
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141020-chicks-tumble-of-terror-filmed
I would love to hear from any of you and will keep you updated on what comes forward.
In gratitude and love,
-Liz
Help Support Me in Living My Dreams
Hi Everyone,
I'm really excited to connect with all of you. So much has happened in the past few years, I received my bachelors degree finished my first year of USM a school for Spiritual Psychology, and completed a Masters in Spiritual Science!!!
As a completion to my years of study I wanted to not only reach out by starting this list but also ask for your support in creating the abundance to do something that is close to my heart.
I went inside recently and asked myself if I could have one dream that day what would it be? The dream that came forward was to take a trip to Europe this September. In that moment I began to judge myself harshly, I doubted and thought but I need to focus on bigger things like manifesting greater abundance doing the things I love. After I practiced forgiveness, I realized that this smaller dream was a part of manifesting my bigger one.
So what I'm asking for support in is raising the money for this trip to Europe this September. I have a goal of raising $5000.00 for my trip. This includes air fare and sleeping arrangements. The core of this trip is traveling to Rome with a group of people that are service oriented through a community that I am a part of. I wish to meet up with them and then travel around a bit on my own to visit some friends and spiritual family.
This trip to me represents manifesting my dreams and showing myself I can and already am living a fulfilling, fun and enriching life doing what I love as these past years up until now have not been easy for me to believe that until now.
So the way I am raising money for this is by offering all the services that I have been working on and can do and in return I'm putting myself out there in a bigger way and supporting my bigger dream as well. So you see this smaller dream becomes a manifestation of the bigger one.
I've believed for so long life was about struggle and hardship and asking for help and support is taking a lot of courage but I know it also is helping me clear the way to keep going for what I want in life. Now I'm ready to step into my dreams and let go of those limiting beliefs.
The services I am offering are as follows.
Selling my artwork, here is a link to looking at my paintings that I am selling. If you scroll over the art you can see the medium used, name and size of each piece. If you want a print of any of the photography or choice of 3 prints together (they look good that way) just message me and I will send you prices and how to pay. The photography can be 4X4" 8X8" or sizes the can vary on request.
Just go too,
I can also do commissions upon request, photoshoots and abstract portraits.
Another way I can be of service is through Spiritual coaching, I will do this on a donation basis as a service. Over the years I've been developing a spiritual coaching practice. where I help people open up to their hearts in greater ways and help them heal and clear their own spiritual blocks. This involves a variety of techniques using methods of helping each individual to clear and heal themselves so they can step into greater attunement with their gifts and path.
Another way is through my creative writing and poetry. If you would like a personally created creative writing peace either a story a poem I will create one just for you and you can donate what you would like towards it.
If you feel called you can also just donate via these links.
or
Although my time is limited and I only have about a month to manifest this in time I believe I can do this. Your support love and light are appreciated and I am grateful for all of you as I develop and manifest my dreams so I can be of greater service to the world.
With loving,
-Liz
Photo by me
How I Used Every Painful Experience To My Advantage.
Lately I've been really inspired to share about my journey even more so recently. It takes so much courage for me to be able to share the intimate details of my life as a lot of them haven't been pretty up until recently so I'm just going to go ahead and take a blind step forward trusting what I feel called to do for myself, for my healing and to honor my path as something to be celebrated no matter how it may have looked.
When I first started my spiritual path I sold a lot of my belongings because I did not want to be identified with those things anymore. I had always been taken care of financially and all of a sudden one day I didn't have the money I had anymore for reasons I won't go into now and I had no idea how to work let alone take care of myself in the world because I had never learned. I began to go from job to job and in the process the one person/mentor that was helping me died. I couldn’t afford to live where I was living anymore and the only choice I had was to move back home, a place to say the least was somewhere I was happy to be away from. So going back there felt like a nightmare realized. I didn’t get along with my family and felt I had nowhere to turn. I started to fight my spiritual path confused why no one would help me in the way I wanted. I was popular in my old life, or so I thought, I had gotten into a top college, been classically trained in cello until I was eighteen and was an over achiever, but in my new world I wasn’t popular, and I all of a sudden felt like an outcast and my entire existence changed and I didn’t understand why. My life had completely flipped upside down and for about eight years straight I struggled to keep any job. I would get one and loose it or get one again and move out only to loose it and have to move back in again, this happened repetitively. Nothing came easy to me. In the process of these eight years I became more and more aware of spirituality because although I fought it something in me was strong enough to return to it and I kept using it to heal myself on my own. I used everything as a tool to go deeper. It was like when you crush a coal with such deep force it turns into a diamond. My present and past experiences were the ones crushing me into a diamond. I had no money, I was living in a tiny room and I had some of my darkest points.
Now in these dark points when I was by myself as they got deeper and deeper I began to have moments of deep spiritual experiences that felt so real and profound and uplifting they would snap me out of my sadness. It was like they were piercing through the shadow of the experience I was having. I wasn’t even sure how I was doing this. It was the only thing that kept me believing and seeing past the trials that were coming forward. When I would have these experiences I felt the greatness of my being and the power of who I was beyond this world. I started trying to express these experiences and they came out through art, music and poetry in ways I had never experienced before. I felt completely satiated in this healing experience that was happening within me and would use it all to guide me. I kept going and used everything as a reflection to heal myself and one day something happened, a profound and apparent shift took place and things started to get better. It’s not that my dreams all came true because they haven’t yet, things definitely didn’t look like I wanted them too but things started to drastically change. It was like I was starting over in a new life again armed with my spirituality, healing, and creativity and the knowing of my power. I got through it and that was enough and part of me was grateful for this new person I had become because it was more loving and profound then I ever knew it was before this experience.
The Sound Of Listening.
These little hands
Strangers hands
Tightly gripping napkin.
These little hands covered with skin
falling over them like a blanket of time.
These veiny things that bleed the stories of man so gently,
Pumping in and out a lifetime of love and pain, happiness and sorrow.
Disguised as flesh they hold thy bounty,
These fleshy things,
They mean nothing and everything,
Because they do bring you to me.
They’ve carried the weight of man for a long time and in every wrinkle between those folds hold the answers I’ve been looking for.
These are Gods hands and in them I feel you there no matter who they are attached too.
They have pulled you too me wherever you have gone.
And although they are attached to
Someone,
Everyone,
Anyone,
They are you.
I feel the universe pulling the tips of each finger like a moth to a flame
and my heart flutters just the same.
I call out to you
And they do respond
A tiny little quiver of recognition
A knowing that somewhere inside this stranger there you are too,
listening ohh so quietly,
Hearing me through everyone.
Shhhh
Its the sound of you listening.
Poem and Video by Liz Bagish
"EXISTENCE WAS HERE," 2018 16"X 20," Mixed Media on canvas, By Me
ARTWORK FOR SALE (liz.bagish@gmail.com)
Not So Subtle Messages from An Overzealous Universe
Today I received a dress in the mail, a white floor length gorgeous expensive dress. Now this would have been amazing, if I had ordered it, I however, ordered pants and a blouse and this white dress is what I got instead. What's ironic is that just yesterday the idea of marriage was on my mind which is so embarrassing for me to talk about, I mean I can't even think it without being afraid someone knows I'm thinking about it. So many people I know are married and I can't even say the word without feeling completely exposed and now the universe is all of a sudden sending me a white floor length dress the moment I even ponder the idea. What I need the world to know is that it's not because I want to get married, it's because I feel pressured into it by others. Marriage by peer pressure I call it. Why does it have to be embarrassing to want to manifest a relationship anyway? When your a little kid it's romantic and magical to dream about but when your an adult of a certain age you have to explain yourself for why you've been single for so long and all of a sudden want it."Ohh yes, I've had a lot of opportunities but I wasn't really interested, my journey, my journey of self was far more important, my career and creating success in my life took all my attention," anyway this is my usual prepared speech when people ask me about the subject. These are the things that make it okay. So now, I'm sitting here with my new white dress and to make it worse they sent it in an extra small. Not only do I need to get married but I have to be super skinny to do it. What's next, are they going to send me some college applications for my unborn children, maybe some baby clothes. As I relaxed, centered myself and pondered on the idea a bit more I began to look at the universes side of it, maybe the universe is super excited that I want to create something that will bring me happiness, I mean after all it's better than buying another top that'll help me to fit in with the rest of the well dressed women I compare myself too. Perhaps I'm so loved that the universe heard my quiet call and is showing up. So as I went to the store to return the the too small white dress and exchange it for my single woman pant blouse set, I stopped with my hand still on the metal door, and all of a sudden something hit me. I decided to return all of it because I realized in that moment returning it all meant making space for greater happiness no matter what form it comes in and no matter what others may or may not think.
The power
The perfection
The inner selection
The waiting, anticipating
The outer connection
How do you
When I don't
Have that affection
My life is so different
I need a correction
When you and the world has
A different election
I feel so indifferent
This outer reflection
Is weary and waining
In my subjection
I can't seem to see it
This pointless protection
I have over going in this direction
So I surrender
To my indirection
Single or married loving me becomes my delicious confection.