I used to think I was so ugly and unattractive in highschool, I wanted so badly to be the perfect skinny girl. I seemed to surround myself with gorgeous people and hide behind them. I was so insecure about how I looked. Now I’ve healed a lot of that and things look a lot different and I’ve learned not dwell in the past or let it pull me down but use it to lift me up instead and transform me. I was never what I thought I was and equated so much of my confidence with how I was supposed to look because that is what felt important then. I just wanted to hide under my skin all the time under my overweight body. I was so afraid of ever being seen. It was like I sat within what I thought was the darkness of myself. Learning to love my body hasn’t been easy and has taken time and training. I am still learning so much from it and it’s scary to share about. What has taken presidence over all of it has been learning to be peaceful within myself. When I focus on the peace I can see how far I’ve come and where I’m going.
Each memory of who we thought we were can be released if we let it. It takes courage to even think about healing yourself.
Photo by me.